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Ramblings From The Road

February, 2002

Hi Dolls,

Oy, I'm so depressed... I don't know why. Is it mid-winter blahs? Is it mid-run blahs? Am I too old for show business? Is it war weather? I don't know what it's like where you live but it's t-shirt weather and it smells like spring here. The sun is shining, buds are poppin' and... oy, I'm so depressed.

How about that Apolo Anton Ohno? Katrin and I are intrigued by him. I happen to love the winter Olympics this time around and I think it's because of all the X Games athletes. The peroxide blonde hair, the piercings, and their Zen dialogue. They are so hip, they don't look like the average automaton athlete. And what about the costumes, they're so futuristic. Anyway, I'm enjoying the Olympics. I watch them backstage. There's a TV on the hemp rail and I'm always in danger of missing a cue. That's how I know all about Apolo Anton Ohno. Some sports athlete marketer rated the marketability of some of these athletes and Apolo only got an 8. This guy's got his head up his ass. I want to know a lot more about Apolo. What a name too.

You know what I want to do with my future? I want to be captain of a shrimp boat. Cap'n Patti, how's that sound? I want skin like leather and I want to be chomping on a big fat stogie, yelling at my crew, hauling in shrimp by the bucketloads. Forearms like Popeye, buns of steel. And looking like Marie Dressler in "Tugboat Annie". Ah, that's the life for me.

"Tugboat Annie stood at the wheel with a huge bean sandwich in one fist and a blue-granite mug of steaming coffee near by, dividing her time between eating, steering and watching speculatively the head of Conroy, who stood on the forward deck, his hostile face turned toward the stormy waters of the strait ahead. She hailed him: 'NO MORE GOWNS. NO MORE MAKE-UP, NO MORE SCRAWNY CHEAP PRODUCERS!'"

Ah, I'm feeling a whole lot better.

Carnegie Hall is coming up. How do I memorize all those lyrics? And the big question is, will I remember all those lyrics on the big night? I'm too old for show business. Wish me luck, keep your fingers crossed.

That's it Dolls. I gotta get in the car and go down to the city and do "Noises Off"......... when I would rather be shrimping with a bean sandwich and steaming cup of coffee.

Love, Patti


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